To some, this may seem insignificant, but for this mama, it was deeply meaningful. She wondered why her nonverbal autistic son would get out of the bathtub just to check where she was, then return to the water. Up until this point, she had never left him alone—she always stayed with him while he bathed. But on this day, she decided to step out for a moment to take care of a few things, not sure what he would do.
The most beautiful part was this: he stayed in the bath, okay with being apart from her, but he checked on her. He climbed out of the tub to see where she was, and as soon as he made eye contact, he went back to the bath. She asked me what this was about, if I had any thoughts. I told her that, from what I understand, it’s actually a sign of secure attachment. He feels free to explore—in this case, enjoy his bath—but he keeps checking in because Mom is his secure base: I’m okay being away; I just need to know you’re near.
This family has faced tough days since their son was about two years old, but now they’re on the mend, and healing has begun. I’m so honored to be part of this moment in their lives. For some, it may seem insignificant, but for this mom, it was monumental. Her son, once distant and disconnected, using behaviors to get his needs met, is now able to begin to regulate—and in this case, for the first time, bathe alone.
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