In the Spirit

I was recently at a house meeting with my mentor, friend, and sister in Christ, Lisa, of Lisa Schwarz. LLC.

As Lisa prayed for me, I was in the Spirit. It was such a beautiful and peaceful place to be, filled with stillness and peace.

Then, at one moment, she began praying for a little girl standing next to me named Savannah. As I remained in the Spirit, Savannah also entered into the Spirit. While I was there, I saw Savannah fall into the Spirit, into the river of Living Water.

My whole body shuddered. I later watched the video to confirm what had happened, and it was quite interesting to realize that I had not known what Lisa was praying, yet I had seen it unfold in the Spirit.

The sketches I create capture only a moment and could never fully express the depth or fullness of what I experience. Yet I love that I can see through His Spirit and witness glimpses of what He is doing all around me.

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Your Struggle is in Your Story

Your struggle is rooted in the story that came from a long season of experiences, learning about trauma, and understanding how the brain stores memories from our history within the limbic system and the hippocampus. As we journey through learning these things, it does not mean that if you have already accepted Jesus, you are somehow outside of His love or outside of His will. It simply means that you may be looking in the wrong places for answers. The struggle often comes because you are trying to figure things out on your own instead of going to the One who created you. In the book of Romans, Paul goes on a bit of a rant when he says, “I keep doing the things I do not want to do, and the things I want to do, I do not do.” Then he goes on to explain that it has to do with what is inside of him. That connects directly to our story. In many ways, it actually is not about you. It is about the story that was written and the way your brain has learned to process information. Whether you are a new believer or have been a believer for many years, the story that was written will always try to take over because it is connected to the flesh and old patterns of thinking. This is why we as believers work on character refinement. Understanding our belief system and how we think and feel will change everything.

Bring your story into the light. Look honestly at it. As it is exposed to God’s truth about who you are in Him, healing can begin, and His perspective can reshape the way you see yourself and your life.

Romans 7:13-25 13 Did that which is good, then, bring death to me? By no means! It was sin, working death in me through what is good, in order that sin might be shown to be sin, and through the commandment might become sinful beyond measure. 14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am carnal, sold under sin. 15 I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good. 17 So then it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me. So, I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. 22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inmost self, 23 but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin which dwells in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I of myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.

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Intimate moments

I was recently asked a question to ponder with the Holy Spirit:

“Lord, I wonder if You want to… .

As I sat with that question throughout the afternoon, I found myself listening carefully to what I heard. What came to mind was:

“I wonder if you want to sit in a hammock and eat ice cream with Me.”

It seemed kind of funny at first, yet at the same time, it revealed the intimacy He was inviting me into. He was asking me to slow down, to swing in a hammock, and simply be with Him, just as it was in the Garden of Eden. To be present. To be near Him.

This last week, I decided to go lay in a hammock. It was a little cool outside, so I brought a blanket with me. The sun was shining, and that beautiful sunshine never fails. As I lay there, I could feel my body come to a place of rest and peace. I listened to a little music, but mostly I sat quietly, listening to the crickets and frogs and hearing the sound of the wind moving through the trees.

I was seeking His delight, and enjoying His peace and presence.

When I think about this experience, I realize that this is what God has been seeking throughout human history: intimacy, connection, and closeness. It is the same closeness that once existed in the Garden of Eden, where He walked and talked with Adam and Eve in the cool of the day. There was no shame, no guilt, and no fear. He, our Creator, simply desires our presence. He seeks intimacy with us.

As I got up to leave that day, I grabbed the edge of the hammock to pull myself out, and my eyes landed on a ring I had bought for myself just over a year ago. It is a spinning ring with different phrases and today in this moment it had settled on a phrase:

“I am loved.”

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Behind the silo



I have been asking the Holy Spirit for many months now to show me more from when I was little, to reveal more about the reason I was born. Then, suddenly, it was right in front of me a vision. I saw Jesus taking my hand, and we were walking toward the barn. In the next moment, I saw Jesus holding me as I hid behind the silo, crying. In this place of seeing, I knew it was about healing me. Healing my body, healing my soul, and healing my spirit. It felt like Jesus was gently revealing places that had been hidden for a long time and inviting me into deeper wholeness. An interesting thing, though, was that I also saw two angels, the same two I have seen in many different places. I’m thinking that one of them is my protector and the other is my nurturer. It was all so beautiful and freeing.

About a week later I visited that silo again and sat in the storm that was passing by. I yelled at the storm to stop and within minutes it did. I heard Holy Spirit say “we are here” and then 2 doves flew out of the cornfield. I can only imagine it was my angels. As I sat there in quiet when the sky opened I heard him again say to paint my glory.

I have stepped in and the painting has been started🤎 more will be revealed in its due time.

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We are stepping in

You see, over the past few weeks, all of these experiences that I have shared with you were moments of being in the Spirit with Him, fully surrendered.

Every one of them was like a dreamlike experience. All of them were very pure, very real, very raw, very passionate, and very intimate.

At the end of this time, I heard Him say one more thing to me.

As He held my hand and we walked into the sunset, He said, “We are stepping in.”

He was there at the beginning

I’ve been sharing for a few weeks now about a moment I had. Actually, it was several encounters I had with the Holy Spirit within a matter of five days.

Through all the vibrancy and brilliance of the meadow that I experienced as a little girl and as a woman with Jesus, He seemed to need to show me one last thing.

It was the day I was born. He was with me, bringing me into this world, chosen and set apart to be used with the gift He gave me for His glory.

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Dance with Me

I was with Him in the Spirit at the end of June. I told Him, “I’m ready for the West Side. I’m ready for the fullness of who He created me to be. I’m ready to step into the truth. I’m ready to let go of the things in my life that are finished and gone.”

It was like a full experience. He took me from one place to another and then back again. He engaged with me very intimately and closely.

First, we were together, and we began to spin in circles, enjoying one another’s presence. Then the rain came, and the delight never ended.

There is a deep intimacy in this place, knowing that the Creator of the universe desires intimacy with every single one of His children, just as He did in the garden.

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I knew Him

So, I’m starting to realize the fullness of who I am in Him. I have been seeking the Holy Spirit, asking Him to show me: What did I know? What did I see when I was small? What did I experience? How did I know?

There was a moment at the end of June when I spent some time with Him in the Spirit. He showed me myself at about five years old, looking up at Him with a smile. As the vision continued, the rain began to fall, yet the smile remained.

It was a place of refreshing, purification, and knowing. It was a place of realizing that I have always known, and I have always seen Him. I just didn’t understand what I was seeing.

I continue to seek Him, asking Him to show me: What did I see? What did I know? Yearning and desiring to bring Him closer as my first love. It’s exciting to know that I was chosen and set apart.

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You will paint for my glory

There was a moment. And when I was in the Spirit, it wasn’t just a single moment it was a full experience. It was the first time I had seen so much while being with Him.

It began with Him saying very clearly, “Don’t look back.” But as I looked up, I saw a meadow.

It’s interesting to look at the image of the meadow that I painted now, because I don’t know that I could ever fully portray the vibrance of what that meadow looked like. But I do know that I had seen that meadow before.

I added easel, along with an image of myself painting, because I was attending a training. A sister in Christ, whose name is also Jodi, very quickly received a vision of me standing in the middle of a meadow with the sun shining brightly. A small easel was set up, and I was painting. All the flowers around the easel represented the harvest of those I have been loving all these years. This was the day after my experience with Holy Spirit. She did not know anything about what I had experienced the day before.

I am so grateful that, with every attempt to create what He is showing me, I am further refining my craft. But I am also being given another opportunity to show humanity the purity, the love, and truly the character of our Creator.

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The Way

Jesus told him,” I am the way, the truth, and the life. No One comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6

Knowing “The Way,” gives a path to follow, forever grateful to Him for His love.
1 John 4, John 15, Acts 24, John 10-19, 1 Corinthians 13

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