Trust-Based Relational Intervention® -To Live Ministry

TBRI® is a trauma-informed, evidence-based, holistic approach that brings healing through meeting the needs within the family unit. TBRI® provides a systematic approach to restoring the foundation for mental health. 

TBRI® came into my world because I am an adoptive mom. But what I didn’t know is that knowing and training in TBRI® would change everything in the trajectory of my life, but also in my relationship with my bio kids. I strived for so long to “do it right” when in reality, they only needed me to “be present and show up” for them. I am honored to walk with families and train, and my kids have given me a “redo” in the things I did not know as their mother.

You can learn more about my work with TBRI® at ToLiveMinistry.org

To Live Ministry – A Place To Live

A New Movement Is Rising

In my work, I see a recurring theme: women raising children with special needs—often on their own. There’s no daycare for these kids, and even if such services existed, the funds simply aren’t there to make them accessible. Many of these women are working hard, doing the best they can, yet they don’t qualify for support. They’re surviving week to week, carrying an incredible weight alone.

But I see something new on the horizon—a movement that will change this story. A Place to Live will be more than housing; it will be a community. A space where single mothers raising children with special needs can come together, support one another, and walk this journey side by side. This isn’t free housing—it’s about creating an environment of collaboration and cooperation, where needs are met through shared strength and resources

learn more at ToLiveMinistry

His Fragrance

I’ve been wondering more about who You are—
the purity, the rawness of Your being,
my Creator, the One who loves me completely,
without conditions, without expectations.

Each day I find myself longing for more of You,
yearning to dwell in that sacred, intimate place.
I wonder—what does Your fragrance hold?
Is it one essence, or a symphony of all things?

Does it breathe like the warm, salty air
where the ocean kisses the horizon?
Or shimmer like the brilliant light of sunset?

Perhaps it carries the comfort of friendship,
like a steaming cup of coffee shared in quiet grace,
or the tender freshness of a seed breaking free,
bursting upward with life and promise.

Maybe it is the hush of a summer morning,
where dragonflies dance in golden light,
or the deep, resinous breath of pine forests.

Do You smell like the promise after spring rain,
or the open meadow untouched by trees,
where wildflowers bloom in secret harmony?

Perhaps You hold the hum of a summer day,
where bees wander from blossom to blossom,
or the smoky warmth of a campfire
beneath a starlit summer night.

Maybe You are the gentle embrace of a child,
or the artistry of all these scents combined—
a fragrance poured out like love itself,
woven from eternity, grace, and wonder.

Tell me my Lord—what does Your fragrance truly smell like?

 

Song of Songs 1:3 TPT

Your presence releases a fragrance so pleasing over and over poured out. For your lovely name is “Flowing Oil.” No wonder the brides-to-be adore you. 

Finding Intimacy

This season is about finding intimacy with my Creator—learning to truly lean into every place and every space, and to be fully known and loved unconditionally by Him.

“My beloved one, both handsome and winsome, you are pleasing beyond words. Our resting place is anointed and flourishing, like a green forest meadow bathed in light. Rafters of cedar branches are over our heads and balconies of pleasant-smelling pines.”
‭‭Song of Songs‬ ‭1‬:‭16‬-‭17‬ ‭TPT‬‬

Earned secure

When I work with individuals and families, I talk a lot about attachment. It’s the foundation for how we navigate life. Everybody’s goal should be to achieve earned secure attachment—the capacity to give care, receive care, negotiate needs, and be ok with autonomous self. Personally, I’ve been working very hard on this for a very long time, striving for these character traits to define who I am. My identity is as a daughter of the king of kings Jesus, He defines me and has determined my worth.

Recently, I had a moment where this might be solidified in my security of who I am.

A very special grandson of mine told me this past week, “You smell like a flower that a rhino pooped on.”

All I could do is laugh 😂 🥳😂

A Moment in Time

Do you find yourself in the same place week after week with your child?

“I’m tired of the way they make me feel like I’m a ___.” (Fill in the blank.)

The struggle is not with your child; it’s with you. Hard words—but nobody can make you feel anything. What you’re hearing is an echo—an echo from your own story, carried through time, reminding you of a place, a soul wound, that needs to be refined.

If there’s anything in those words that ring true. I’m here to help you uncover why are you think and feel like you do. Together, we will uncover the authentic you.

Supporting Regulation

So I have another story for you today.

I’ve been working with a family for about half a year now. When I first met Mom, she really wasn’t connected to her son. During our first visit, she leaned in and was teachable —bringing her son close, holding his hands, and speaking to him while looking into his eyes.

Here’s the thing about this little boy: he is on the spectrum and, for the most part, nonverbal.

As time went on, Mom was having some challenges during bath time, specifically with him wanting to get out of the bathtub. I introduced a visual timer—a simple tool to help kids see time moving. Many children with complex trauma don’t have an internal sense of time, so this visual support regulating. The timer ended up staying in their bathroom.

In the last couple of weeks, her son came home from school extremely hungry. Mom had already started cooking and told him, “The food is cooking. It’ll be done soon.” Her little boy went into the bathroom, grabbed the timer, and set it so he could see how long it would take.

What a beautiful win.

To see this child—who has been locked inside his own body and mind, with very few words to communicate—use a tool to express his need and help his mom understand him is incredibly powerful. When given the opportunity, he was able to share, to see, and to let his mom know what he needed.

I love my work. I love seeing the wins. I’m grateful for this season, and grateful for all the trials that allow me to help families find freedom, healing, and hope.

It’s the little moments of break through..

It’s in the little moments when, all of a sudden, a breakthrough happens. I have a beautiful story about a little boy who doesn’t have words. His mom shared a wonderful, moving experience with her son. She and another caregiver were driving in the car with him in the backseat. He was diligently playing on his iPad while Mom and the other caregiver were having a conversation about her husband. I don’t know the depth of what the conversation was about—and it doesn’t matter in this situation.

What is most significant is that, as they mentioned Dad’s name, this little boy—who hasn’t spoken in the context of anything going on around him—simply said, “Papa.” As Dad’s name was mentioned, he spoke. There’s a breakthrough happening. It’s a beautiful thing.

I love that I get to be a part of these stories. The things that some may see as small and insignificant are massive for these families. They’ve lived in secondary trauma, not knowing what to do for years. They are working with Integrated Sensory in Green Bay getting the physical needs met, and now addressing the relational needs through Trust-Based Relational Intervention®️, healing has begun. Connection has begun.

Intimacy with Him

“I see your blushing cheeks opened like the halves of a pomegranate shown through your veil of tender meekness. When I look at you, I see your inner strength so stately and strong you are secure as David’s fortress your virtues and grace to cause 1000 famous soldiers to surrender to your beauty. Your pure faith and love rest over your heart as you nurture those who are yet infants.” (Song of Songs 4 TPT paraphrase mine.)

—

This season has brought me to a place of shifting—to go deeper with Holy Spirit to discover what pure intimacy with my Creator truly looks like. There is a space where I see the words as they are spoken and hear them echo throughout my soul. My Creator sees me this way. My Creator speaks to me this way, engages me this way, and loves me this way—with a knowing of all of me and a tenderness that I melt into His arms of protection and love.

There is a season for everything under the sun.

I’d love to tell you about a family. There is a lot of extended family involved, but in this case, it’s a grandma raising her grandson. It’s a hard story. When I met them, Grandma was preparing to have her grandson come live with her full-time. I began teaching her TBRI® before he moved in. He was coming out of some very hard places.

At nine years old, he had explosive behaviors. Rage would overtake him when he became dysregulated. His fight response kicked in—he mostly hit walls and doors and threw things. His grandma has been diligent in learning TBRI®️. She worked through her own story and how it was impacting her relationships, not only with her grandson but with everyone around her.

Those big behaviors began to fade quickly, though they would still surface from time to time. Then this past fall, something happened. This little boy—now in a man’s body, though only eleven—didn’t go into rage when he became dysregulated. There was no yelling, screaming, hitting, throwing, kicking, or punching. Instead, he sat down in the grass and began to cry.

The tears were hard, but something was changing inside him. His capacity to experience feelings is increasing. He’s learning to understand what he needs and to use his words. In that moment, he was able to be met with love in a whole new way, as his body’s capacity to regulate continues to grow.

I am so grateful to walk alongside families and teach them what it truly means to meet their children where they are at. Connection is everything. I have seen many miracles over the last seven years. This work is a beautiful, humbling, and honoring space—to walk with people in this way, the way of love.