The answer comes when you can look outside yourself. Loving people where there are at is loving unconditional without expectations.
““Then they too will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or without clothes, or sick, or in prison, and not help you? ’ “Then he will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’”
Matthew 25:44-45 CSB
https://bible.com/bible/1713/mat.25.44-45.CSB
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The Art of Jodi Lynn 